How to deal with your angry kid?  Try The Total Transformation!

In lesson one of The Total Transformation Program James Lehman  explains WHY kids act the way they do.  He starts off by pointing out that poor behavior such as disrespect, obnoxious and abusive behavior is not the result of a parent saying or doing the wrong thing, expecting too much, being unsympathetic, or even refusing to listen or in the parent’s misunderstanding of their child.  The poor behavior is also not a result of a parent failing to give enough of one’s time, attention or rewards like gifts and allowances.   Instead, James Lehman tells us that these disrespectful, obnoxious, and abusive behaviors are the result of the child’s “faulty reasoning, poor problem-solving skills, perception of powerlessness, need to control, low tolerance for frustration, intellectual and functional laziness, and from their fears and insecurities.”  More importantly, he warns us not to mistake these behaviors as signs for mental illness.  Many people begin to question the mental health of their children when they begin acting out on a frequent basis and question whether or not a child  has A.D.D or A.D.H.D , or whether or not they are bipolar.  James Lehman explains quite frankly that it doesn’t even matter if a child does suffer from any of the aforementioned disorders–the behavior should not and must not be accepted simply because of a label that has been placed on a child.  James Lehman explains that once a kid grows up, the judge is not going to say:  “Oh you have A.D.D?  Then it is okay that you stole money” .  Whatever the reason is behind a child’s poor behavior, WE as parents need to correct it, and correct it with diligence and be consistent in our demands and punishments and even rewards.  There is a lot of meat to digest in lesson one of the program.  I have listened to it probably 20 times (at least) and I learn something new each time.  I know I can’t do it justice here –not at all!  lol  But I am certainly trying. 

One point I found interesting is James points out that many children are training us to give into them—and gosh darn it if I it isn’t the case with my kids at times.  They sure do use tantrums and aggression to try to get me to give into them, but I am certainly not going down that road again.  As UGLY as it gets, I stick to my guns and I don’t give in.  I have noticed that there is a great improvement in the boys since I have been using James Lehman’s tactics. 

One trick I love–The act of walking away.  James advises that parents walk away from the child if the child is yelling at them and making demands. Chances are, if your child is yelling at you or kicking and screaming he/she isn’t listening to your corrections and demands anyway, so it is best if you walk away.  James points out that the child wants your attention and depriving them of that attention eclipses the fight.  Its like starving a fire of oxygen.   When faced with one of my children yelling or throwing a tantrum I simply say in a calm voice–You need to calm down and when you have calmed down I will be back to talk to you.  It wasn’t easy to get them to the point where they would sit there and calm down–it took weeks for them to realize that I wasn’t dealing with them until there was peace, but now, I put them in their room to cool off and then when I think it’s been long enough we talk about the problem.  It really is working well.  Thanks James!

The Total Transformation is FULL of these sorts of techniques–James Lehman teaches you how to get out of this pattern of butting heads and the battling.

Along with the Audio versions of the lessons, The Total Transformation gives you a book to follow up each lesson after listening to the cd.  In lesson one of the workbook, James Lehman outlines everything for you from the 16 characteristics that your child may or may not be exhibiting to explaining the best way to start implementing the strategies.  He also gives you a questionaire to fill in about your child’s behavior.  It’s a great tool to use when you want to focus on which areas of your child’s behavior need the most attention.    James Lehman stresses the fact that you need to ease into the program.  We are not supposed to listen to all the cd’s the first day nor are we to go rogue!  lol  My words not his.  He is more polished in his delivery of course.  =)

I urge you to check out The Total Transformation program for yourself-It is so worth the money you will spend on it.

Don’t forget–I am GIVING AWAY A COMPLETE PROGRAM HERE!!   Come back each week to read more tips and for more info on WHEN the giveaway will take place.  SOMEONE will win the The Total Transformation program worth $299.  I can’t wait to give it away!  If you just can’t wait to win the program and want to buy it yourself click here now.

Best Wishes and have a blessed day.

Cheryl