Know & Love Thyself First
Forum member, Stacie, started a boyfriends causing trouble thread at the forum. She talked about how it gets to her when teenage girls let a boy cause their grades to drop or they lose their drive to succeed and do well because they have devoted themselves to a boyfriend.
I have to say that I too am saddened when I hear of a teenage girl who has let having a boyfriend change the person she wants to become and take away from the things she enjoys in life.
What saddens me even more is when grown women completely immerse themselves into a relationship with a man and then become an unhappy person and can’t figure out why.
Now, I’m not saying that a woman shouldn’t give of herself to her husband and family, not saying that at all. Yes, sometimes that means compromising and giving up things we would rather not. The difference being that as a wife and mother, I am not giving of myself so much that I am no longer the person I want to be.
As a teenage girl or a single woman, whether previously married or not, there is a difference. Don’t give up on your values and goals in life ONLY to make a man happy. Chances are if this happens, the man won’t be happy long anyway.
Give of yourself, but don’t lose YOU in the process I guess is what I am really trying to say. If you know who you really are and what you really want out of life, any man that is suited for you will respect you for that and never ask you to give up who you are to be who he wants you to be. You’ll already be the person he wants.
I wish I could get every female in the world together and could give them the magic words to make them truly understand that you must love yourself and know what you want and enjoy in life before you even begin to think of adding a boy to the picture.
I have to say that I too am saddened when I hear of a teenage girl who has let having a boyfriend change the person she wants to become and take away from the things she enjoys in life.
What saddens me even more is when grown women completely immerse themselves into a relationship with a man and then become an unhappy person and can’t figure out why.
Now, I’m not saying that a woman shouldn’t give of herself to her husband and family, not saying that at all. Yes, sometimes that means compromising and giving up things we would rather not. The difference being that as a wife and mother, I am not giving of myself so much that I am no longer the person I want to be.
As a teenage girl or a single woman, whether previously married or not, there is a difference. Don’t give up on your values and goals in life ONLY to make a man happy. Chances are if this happens, the man won’t be happy long anyway.
Give of yourself, but don’t lose YOU in the process I guess is what I am really trying to say. If you know who you really are and what you really want out of life, any man that is suited for you will respect you for that and never ask you to give up who you are to be who he wants you to be. You’ll already be the person he wants.
I wish I could get every female in the world together and could give them the magic words to make them truly understand that you must love yourself and know what you want and enjoy in life before you even begin to think of adding a boy to the picture.
posted by Alice at 11:25 AM
NEW! 
2 Comments:
When I first read what Stacie had wrote I didn't comment because I was afraid to admit that at 31 years old I'm all too willing to give up my hopes, dreams, beliefs and even values and morals just for the sake of having a man in my life. MY most recent relationship was a huge wake up call that a man isn't worth giving up my dreams, etc for. That isn't a healthy relationship at all. Next time around I want a man that will respect me for what I beleive in and for what I am striving to do and become in my life :-) I wish it wouldn't of taken me all my life to figure this one out but the light bulb finally went off!
Tishia - I'm so proud of you. I know you've struggled, but you are doing so much to change things and make your life what YOU want and that's awesome! I wish more people would be open to seeing this.
"I wish I could get every female in the world together and could give them the magic words to make them truly understand that you must love yourself and know what you want and enjoy in life before you even begin to think of adding a boy to the picture."
Yes - that! That's exactly what I wish I could do.
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